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nonxperfect
12 May 2011 @ 04:38 am
Sometimes I wonder why you chose me. You are an attractive guy and have so many girls like you. So many of them who would love to be your girlfriend, but yet you chose me. I don't understand. Out of all the girls who were out there, you chose me? Of all the girls you kissed, of all the girls that wanted to be where I am right now, you chose me? Out of all the girls who were prettier, more talented, more "gifted" in bodily places, you chose me? My biggest fear is that you'll realize this and leave me. You'll realize that you had a whole bunch of better girls waiting on you and won't want me anymore. You were so many girls before we got together, but you tied yourself down to me. Sometimes I feel like you deserve better. Someone who is fun, someone who drinks, someone who is carefree, someone who is as attractive as you, someone who is more deserving of you. I feel like people look at me as a joke. I feel like people look at me with you and they say to themselves "He deserves better". I'm nothing like who should be with. People expect you to be with someone who is fun, just like you. Someone wild just like you. But no, you're with me. I'm nothing like that.
 
 
nonxperfect
09 March 2011 @ 12:49 am
Lent  
Give Up:
- Makeup
- Spending Money on Unneeded Things

Do This
- Read Bible and Meditations DAILY
- Read "The Imitation of Christ" DAILY
- Write to God more often
- Go to Newman Masses more

I'm still actually thinking of these. I want to do something that will really impact me once Easter comes.

 
 
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
 
 
nonxperfect
06 March 2011 @ 06:42 pm
 Long time no see. 
I honestly have no idea why I'm back on here. It's been what, 2 or 3 years since I've written here. I think I was a sophomore or a junior the last time I kept up with this. Now, I am a freshman in college. It was pretty weird looking back at all the things I use to write about. Many of my entries were about boys I liked, used to like. It's funny how I would get so into the guy and all antsy when they wouldn't talk to me or something. It's a little awkward too since I have a boyfriend now. 

But yeah, I thought I'd update this since lately I've been giving my xanga some love, and I thought you deserved some too.

I should go do my paper now. 

 
 
Current Mood: sicksick
 
 
nonxperfect
04 October 2008 @ 12:28 pm
Twilight+ Paramore="Decode"


How can I decide what's right
When you're clouding up my mind?
I can't win your losing fight
All the time.:

When Bella first meets Edward she wonders what's so different about him. How he's not like every other guy. And all her thoughts and dreams are clouded with thoughts of Edward.

How can I ever own what's mine
When you're always taking sides?
But you won't take away my pride.
No, not this time.
Not this time.



How did we get here?
I used to know you so well.
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know.
:

This is when Bella tries to figure out what Edward. I imagine this being used when Bella is researching about Edwards kind.


The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it's hanging on your tongue.
Just boiling in my blood. :


Edward can't see hear Bella's thoughts, but when he looks in her eyes he knows her. It could also be for Bella's point of view where she notices the changes in Edwards eye color. But I mostly think it's Edward because the scent of her blood makes him go crazyyy.

But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are,
If you're a man at all.
Well, I will figure this one out
On my own.
(I'm screaming, "I love you so.")
On my own.
(My thoughts you can't decode.) :


Edward thinks Bella won't figure him out. But she knows something is different with him and his family, but she is going to figure it out by herself. Well with a little bit of help from Jacob Black. The last line is deffinatly about how Edward can't read her thoughts.


How did we get here?
I used to know you so well, yeah.
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know.


Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves.
Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves.:

I can only imagine this part about "Breaking Dawn" because Bella sometimes feels embarrassed about getting married and stuff like that. Or it could also be how when they start dating everyone notices and Bella feels embarrassed about getting more attention.


How did we get here?
I used to know you so well, yeah, yeah.
How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well.
I think I know.
I think I know.:

This part is when she figures out Edward's a vampire.

There is something I see in you.
It might kill me.
I want it to be true.:

No matter how dangerous it is to be with Edward, she still wants to be with him.



Ignore my Twilight and Paramore nerdy-ness. =| =p XD
 
 
Current Mood: nerdynerdy
Current Music: "Decode" - Paramore
 
 
nonxperfect
10 September 2008 @ 07:10 pm

Today was a horrible day, but this entry doesn't end sad.

My lab partner who's in a lot of my classes was being annoying. She complains about EVERYTHING. During Chemistry she was complaining about people putting clipart and pictures on their lab reports and how it was stupid to suck up like that. I felt kind of offended since I love putting pictures and decorating my labs with photoshop. She just says lot of un-thought out things like that and it gets annoying since I have to be with in 3 classes with her. =|

GYM CLASS. I hate it. Well STRONGLY dislike it. I don't know anyone and I haven't been this lonely since the 8th grade. Actually maybe even the 6th grade. I strongly dislike being lonely. Gym days just always bring me down because nothing good ever happens. Sucks that I have to take it for all 4 years.

Don't ever like a guy because when you happen to look at one of the surveys they took and it just happens to say that they don't know if they like anyone and that they don't go to church anymore, it sucks. Especially if you're already having a bad. I knew he didn't really like me that much. No one that I like ever likes me back, even if people that don't even know I like him make fun of me for liking him? And the whole church thing? It's a MORTAL SIN! I know it's not his fault and stuff, well maybe. I just don't know. I can't just go up to him (well really I can't since he lives a few states away) and say "GO TO CONFESSION, THEN GO TO CHURCHH!", that's already weird.

My day wasn't all bad. I went for a walk with my parents which made me feel a lot better.

Super messy entry. Yeah? Yeah?

 
 
Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: "Mean Thoughts and Cheap Shots"- The Rocket Summer
 
 
nonxperfect
16 August 2008 @ 05:57 pm
 
 
nonxperfect
24 February 2008 @ 07:41 pm

I guess I haven't updated in a while? =p
2008 so far is pretty amazing, and it's only February.
God has so much instore for me, South Cluster, and New Jersey.
(I know improper grammar)
Anyway, I just wanted to write here,
even though no one really reads.
-mish

 
 
Current Mood: lovedloved
 
 
nonxperfect
08 November 2007 @ 02:34 pm

Haven't updated for a long time. I guess it's because nothing really special has happened. I mean nothing "livejournal" worthy has happened, everything else was "xanga" worthy. You know what I mean? Eh.

Vacation at the moment and for some reason growing a celebrity crush on Nick Jonas?

=x
-mish

 
 
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: "Fences"- Paramore
 
 
nonxperfect
10 September 2007 @ 08:17 pm

So, I wanted to make an entry about my faith, even no one really reads this. Lately, I've been praying so much. Rosary every night before I go to sleep, reading the bible everyday, reading "The Purpose Driven Life", and praying the Devine Mercy every 3PM. But I don't know, I always feel it's never ever good enough. I always feel this way with everything I do in my life. But I know that it's never supposed to be about us, it's always supposed to be about God. At school I really really do want to spread His love to others, but it never really happens. During church this Sunday I had this excitement in me. I was excited for the next time South would have a camp so I could invite people. I had three people in mind, but suddenly when I woke up this morning and started to think about it more doubts started coming into my mind. I started to wonder if I should really do that. I don't know. I always seem to doubt myself. I wish I had someone to talk to about my faith, I don't really have anyone. I've never really had serious talk with Andre before. It's all fun. I really want to rely on him, but I know he's never going to take anything seriously. When I try to be serious he goes and makes a joke about something I said. I mean maybe I might be assuming things, but I just want someone to turn to and be real to. I mean I can be real with Andre, but we've never really talked about our faith with each other. I don't know if it's because I think it would be odd and we'll run out of things to say. Like we can't even pray over each other out laughing. For serious. I really want a serious and fun friendship with him. I want to turn to him and be real and say how I'm feeling without having him to guess. Ehhh, maybe I'm going to have bring my wall down, even though it's pretty low with him already. Haha. I don't know, I just want to tell actually people how my faith is without hesitating. I feel kind of jealous because Andre and Martin have already had more serious talks than Andre and me. I need to stop being jealous at everything. Blahffskfhas
-mish

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Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
Current Music: Harajuku Girls- Gwen Stefani
 
 
nonxperfect
09 September 2007 @ 06:49 pm

asdfghjkkdmgksdhgikhdnvsfie

Basically that's how I feel. Being a girl sucks.
-mish

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Current Mood: annoyedannoyed